Saturday, June 17, 2017

I forgive you.


I believe the three words I forgive you is just as very beautiful like the words I love you.

I remember walking around the mall last April with my mom, we were looking for casual sandals. My mother was trying some on and I was scrolling through my phone when I received a message from a close friend of mine on Snapchat.

She told me of something bad she did to her friend and she was asking me what I thought about it and asked for advice on what to do. I didn't know what to say, honestly, I was new to this kind of problem (which I will not be able to share due to personal and privacy reasons.) The most surprising part was that, the person she did wrong to, wasn't aware of this at all. There was also another person involved. 

I suggested her to first reveal her mistake to her friend and apologize. At first she hesitated, worrying about what the reaction will be. And so, my friend questioned me if I didn't mind her practicing on me what she will say to her friend.

Of course, that is when I knew it was me.

I sort of laughed at the first few minutes because this was such a cliche thing to do. After a moment, it dawned to me. I confirmed from her if it was indeed me and I received that dreaded reply of "Yes."

I have known this friend for years now so we are really close. All I asked from her was to explain to the other person involved in this situation, and that was all I needed. Surprisingly, I wasn't mad, I didn't feel any anger towards her. So I said, "I forgive you."

Afterwards, I felt even more lighter than I already did.

That was when I learned how the sentence I forgive you is such a powerful one, it could do magic! I am not kidding. Forgiving is very essential in our lives. These thoughts of resentment and hatred will forever haunt us and be a burden when they occupy our minds. We could release them by forgiving, and with that, we will have more peace within us.


Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; It's something you do for you.

Monday, June 5, 2017

I didn't know about podcasts and i regret it.


I didn't know this actually existed and now I am thankful it does. I discovered Podcasts on the first day of June. I was swiping my home screen left and right, having nothing to do (lies actually, I was really just lazy to do anything else) and noticed this purple thing titled Podcasts. It is one of the apps already included in the iPhone, so I wasn't aware of it at all.

So I clicked it and waited for a few minutes before realizing why the screen was still blank except for the bottom part, my data wasn't turned on for this. I quickly redid my settings and opened the application once again.

I am not sure how to describe my reaction after seeing its content. Quite speechless, maybe.

Now if you sadly happen to be like me who didn't have any idea about what it is, a Podcast is a digital audio file which you can download or subscribe to. For me, they sort of seem like audio blogs?

I absolutely love this because I could listen to it while doing something else at the same time! I even coincidentally discovered this right after watching some YouTube videos and wishing I could download mp3 formats of those instead so that I wouldn't waste so much of my time.

After a couple of days, I have made my list of favorites.

1. Actualized.org. Now this is actually more on self help and advices. This motivates me so much in different aspects of my life. I really recommend this. They can also be found in YouTube.

2. Author Audience. I found this because I was searching for tips on writing. I have heard other podcasts, their tips are very helpful but they didn't quite capture me like this one did, because in here, the speaker Shelley Hitz not only gives you encouragement to write, but also includes spiritual inspiration.

3. TedTalks. I mean, come on, most of us know this. I really like them because I can learn so much about different things, it is so informational that I am really loving it. It is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. 


Do you have any favorite Podcasts?

Friday, June 2, 2017

Why i stopped writing.

Photo by Oliver Thomas Klein

I asked this a million times to myself, to be honest. Now, I'm glad to say I posses the answers. I haven't ended writing completely, as you can see, this blog is still up and running. But when it comes to other things, I just have this huge writer's block that hindered me from writing my book for almost a year. I try, however. From time to time, my notebook would be in front of me and I would try to focus, yet I just can't seem to wrap my finger around my pencil, nor mind on the story.

Trust me, months of thinking made me aware of the possible reasons. 

Slowly, I'm trying to get through each of them. I know deep down that writing is my passion and I don't want these little things to prevent me from sharing the stories that rest in my heart and mind.

1. Lack of confidence. I always have the thought of never being good enough. When I read books, instead of letting it motivate me, it lowers my self esteem, telling me that my works aren't great enough. I clearly know my writing skills aren't on point and most of my stories lack depth. What I realized was that, I'm missing out on practice. These great, amazing writers weren't born with the skill immediately! They learned it. Although maybe some are, but obviously, not all are blessed with this gift.

2 & 3. Laziness. Not only am I lazy at writing, but pretty much with everything else as well. I have to work on my procrastination. I know that this isn't doing me any good but I still do it. This is where stubbornness comes in!

4. Distraction. I have to admit, after I wrote that sentence before this, I actually stopped, grabbed my phone, and was scrolling through my social media. After I got a new phone (thank you tita Joanne!), I am always with it. Now I'll go in depth with this topic on a future post, since I had a post about "Living without a phone." which can be read here, I think I'll have to make another one all dedicated about living with a phone, haha.

I got this  idea of finding out what's causing this major writer's block and maybe with this, I could put a stop to it. 

In order to diminish a problem, we all have to know the problem, we have to acknowledge it, in order to find the solution.


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

On basketball and doses of evil | vol. 4


1. Playing basketball with my mom and titas (aunts.) It's been going on for quite a few days and it's very very fun!

2. I've been listening to the song Congratulations by Post Malone and I am supeeerrrr loving it. I can't help but sing and dance along with it. I am also liking Terror Jr (discovered this one through snapchat, the song Come First was playing in one of the filters) and 11:11, both having electro vibes. Lately, I love listening to rap. But I usually just listen to Eminem and Ali 未来.


3. I renewed my passport because it was expiring soon. My mom was with me and we sort of had a hard time with the application form because a lot of the words there were in kanji and we couldn't read most of them. Thankfully, someone assisted us. I really need to learn how to read and write nihonggo, I'm adding this to my goals this year.


4. I recently finished the book Wonder by RJ Palacio and I really loved it. I honestly was searching for a romance YA book just for a fun read, this book is far from romance but totally showed inspiring friendships. 

I won't describe what I look like. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably worse.

August (Auggie) Pullman was born with a facial deformity that prevented him from going to a mainstream school—until now. He's about to start 5th grade at Beecher Prep, and if you've ever been the new kid then you know how hard that can be. The thing is Auggie's just an ordinary kid, with an extraordinary face. But can he convince his new classmates that he's just like them, despite appearances?

I also read Nimona by Noelle Stevenson (a graphic novel/comics) and it was SO ADORABLE. I loved the artwork and the story itself, it contained the perfect mix of humor, friendships, and add in a little dose of evil! I totally recommend this for a fun entertaining short read. 
Nimona is an impulsive young shapeshifter with a knack for villainy. Lord Ballister Blackheart is a villain with a vendetta. As sidekick and supervillain, Nimona and Lord Blackheart are about to wreak some serious havoc. Their mission: prove to the kingdom that Sir Ambrosius Goldenloin and his buddies at the Institution of Law Enforcement and Heroics aren't the heroes everyone thinks they are.


But as small acts of mischief escalate into a vicious battle, Lord Blackheart realizes that Nimona's powers are as murky and mysterious as her past. And her unpredictable wild side might be more dangerous than he is willing to admit. 


5. Footnote, by basketball I meant the game in facebook messenger, haha!


Monday, May 22, 2017

6 Weird habits most of us have


I've been noticing some weird habits I'm doing lately. Most of them are quite common, I told them to some of my friends and they said they totally relate! So I made a list and here it is,

1. Creating arguments with people in my head (with me winning, of course) and making myself hate them for a short period of time because of that conversation I totally made up. Now this habit I really want to lose. I hate arguments, unless they're short and only for some fun, maybe. Although, sometimes I do like debates but I get tired most of the time.

2. Thinking of a response waaaay too late. Like, I would have this conversation with someone. A few hours later, home and on bed, a much more clever responses to our topics would pop in my mind. 

3. Wrinkling my nose. I didn't know I actually did this until I suddenly had this spontaneous idea of videoing myself of which embarrassing reason I will not share, and I noticed I did it often, probably about ten times per minute. Only to lift up my glasses, it kept slipping down and I was too lazy to use my hands. 

4. Loving a song so much and eventually getting tired of hearing it in a few days time. I'm not even kidding when I say my preferences change every single day, sometimes I'll like this, then that, and then this again.

5. I 'try' as much as possible to refrain from saying curse words. However, that rule  is overlooked when I sing songs that have such words. 

6. Using 'like' in most of my sentences. "Like, this is so cool. Like, I'd totally get this product. Like, I'm tired of using this word."

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

On food trucks and adorable drawings. | vol. 3



1. I saw a pretty view of the sky as I was walking one late afternoon and I fell in love with the striking colors of pink and blue, though I wasn't really able to capture it the way I saw it. Or maybe I was just having a good day. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 



2. Had a hangout with a close friend of mine in Greenbelt, it was loads of fun. It had been so long since we last had a proper talk face to face. My only regrets is wearing heels, by the end of the day my feet were so tired I almost gave up halfway on my walk back home.



3. Saw this cute La Lola food truck and I just had to picture it because its a rare sight to see them in my place. I love their churros, especially the classic ones.



4. Went to my friend's house today and saw this adorable drawing (from an old school project of hers) of me and three of our other friends. I was really touched to see this because I don't really see this particular bestfriend of mine as much as I would have wanted to. However, we still strive to keep in touch (we've known each other for about 10 years now, it's amazing), and this just honestly surprised me!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Art in the park.

I have recently been to an art fair called Art in the Park that took place in Velasquez Park in Salcedo Village, Makati City, Ph. last April 2, 2017 (okay, maybe not so recent.) This is quite near my place and I happened to pass across a banner that indicated this event.

Since 2006, Art in the Park has gathered together a diverse group of galleries, art schools, independent art spaces, and collectives for the country's most significant affordable art fair. An annual event organized by Philippine Art Events, Inc. for the benefit of the Museum Foundation of the Philippines in it's mission to create awareness for the National Museum and its network.

My mom and I decided to go around 5 in the afternoon after I did some research about it and found that it was open until 10 pm. 

Photos are blurry because they were only taken by my phone :(


The first stop was this sort of boat. I got really fascinated looking at this because it had hands under and a headless body as its passenger. I mean, why not? The first thought that came to my mind about its message was that in order to move, we need to experience some hardships and develop teamwork. Even without eyes, when the destination is in our hearts, we would be able to get there. Or something like that. What do you guys think?





This was one of my favorites. Especially the hanging fish. With the help of the breeze , it moved around and it really looked like it was swimming!



Not only do they have those, but as expected, there were paintings as well. Almost all kinds of art were included in the fair. Prints, photographs, sculptures, new medias, and paintings.



They also sell in affordable prices, PhP 50,000 (about $1000) and below.


We actually wondered how this would last till late at night, because obviously, the place would be really dark by then. Turns out, our worries were for nothing. They had a lot of lights hanging around that gave the place a pretty ambiance. The fairy lights were cute and matched the place too.



They also had a number of food stands and gave out free cocktails. 


Eventually, we got tired and got Chillz from a nearby Mini Stop and returned back to sit down on one of the benches the park offered.


Although we weren't able to purchase any artwork, it was a fun experience to look and appreciate the exhibits. We will definitely come back here again next year.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Lifeline.

an image from the short film lifeline

Aside from writing, I've always been fascinated at indie short films.

The most recent one I watched was Lifeline written and directed by Sam Jones. This was really a heartbreaking memorable film. Definitely one of my favorites. It shows us what life really is for struggling people, specifically a mother and son. A glimpse of reality and human nature.
A story about Beth, a mother who is forced to the limit for her son Ash, putting her morality to the test. Lifeline asks how far we'd push ourselves for the people we love. The film shows that even in a brutally impossible situation, there will always be something human in everybody, a connection between every one of us.
If that doesn't convince you to watch it, it also won 1st prize at International BAFTA/OSCAR qualifying Rhode Island Film Festival for Kidseye Award 2016, Best Film at Cinemagic Belfast Film Festival 2016, Best Student Film, Nottingham International Festival and People's Choice Award, International IndieFlicks Festival 2016.



Films like these are what make me want to create one too. I think that short movies (or long, perhaps) is an art of someone's vision and they amazingly have the ability to inspire people. It helps people create what paper can't show.


What other short films do you recommend?

with love,
yuki motokane.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Living without a phone.


I was charging my phone in class when a bottle of oil smashed down on it. Now you may be wondering how that happened or how the oil was involved, or why I was even charging my phone during class hours. But that's a story for another time.

However, the screen of my phone cracked into the so called 'spider web art' with one-fourth of the LED screen broken. This led me to spending the rest of my school year (until now!) without a phone. Although I do bring a small keypad phone with me for emergencies. Technically, I don't have a phone because I don't have messages, games, and social media to distract me.

Hard for me to admit, but it did have it's benefits.

I got to be more social and had much more time to do productive things such as writing, reading, and doing some of my homeworks in advance. I became more observant of my surroundings and appreciated the little things I spend my time on when I have nothing to do.

The only disadvantage is when my teachers let us picture the notes on the board or handouts. I'd have the hard time of trying to jot down everything in my notebook before they move on to the next lesson. On the bright side, it helps me remember them more.

All in all, I think this is pretty helpful for me. I'm the type of person who always gets distracted when a phone is placed in front of me. I'd plug in my earphones and listen to music. I forget to look and appreciate my surroundings.


Let me just drop in one of my favorite quote:
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.


with love,
yuki motokane.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Greetings to you, March.


February has come to pass and the month of March came to acknowledge me, or I to march. However, I had to greet it with a sneeze and a few degrees of fever.

Not only am I disappointed with my colds, but also my inconsistencies in this blog. So far, I've only made about five posts, even when I was planning to make at least four per month. No, I will not be using my lazy excuse of being busy. I admit I procrastinated.

Now this "I will stop procrastinating" had been in my new years resolution and to do lists for years. As you may have already guessed, I procrastinated in stopping my procrastination. Despite that, I can only post maybe two or three for this month because of incoming exams withing the last week of March.

I also noticed that I have been 'too chill' in my studies. I like to believe that I did quite well last quarter, but I have a feeling my grades are declining this past February. Catching up will take some time and effort, but I have some to give. With enough determination, I believe I can do it.

How did February go for you?


with love,
yuki motokane.

Monday, February 6, 2017

100 books for 2017.


Apparently, reading 100 books is one of my goals this 2017. 

I decided to pursue this one and keep track of my reads, you can find the books I've read so far here. As of now, there are sadly only two books. Anna Karenina took me a really really long time, I didn't expect my copy to have 940 pages. However, it was pretty worth it.

My five 'to read' next are as follows:

1. World War Z by Max Brooks 
2. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
3. Dracula by Bram Stoker 
4. The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
5. Chariot of the Gods by Erich von Daniken

You could probably guess by that list my love for zombies.


What other books do you recommend?

with love,
yuki motokane.

Monday, January 30, 2017

A feather quill pen + parker quink black ink.

A feather quill pen has been in my wishlist for a long time and my dad granted it. Coming from work in Singapore, he came across a shop that sold wooden pens and he thought that maybe they sold these there too (knowing that I've been wishing for this for months because I wanted to practice calligraphy and I'm so stubborn that I want to learn with this particular writing tool. I do have a brush pen, if that counts.) He also said it was the last stock! What a pleasant day it was when he gave it to me, I didn't even expect it!

It consists of a quill, a bottle of ink, and 6 nibs (including the one with the feather quill pen). 
However, I had to buy ink because I didn't want to use the ink included in the set, I wanted to use it in the future when I get better, however I'm not sure if this is a good idea because I'm not so sure whether the ink included has good quality or not. I originally wanted to buy India Ink because I heard it was cheap and it's pretty good for beginners. Although the store near my place didn't have stock of it for a long time so I chose this one, Parker Quink Black, which was only 250 php (about $5). But this is actually a fountain pen ink.

I was quite disappointed with it because I expected a really black ink, but it seemed more of a dark gray color when I tried it. But I suppose it's good enough for me, being a beginner. One quality I liked about it is the way it dries quickly (Quink being the combination of both words Quick and Ink). 


Nevertheless, I am happy with both items and now more motivated to practice my calligraphy. What about you? How did you start? If you haven't yet, do you plan to? I advise you to do so, it's really calming and fun!

with love,
yuki motokane.

Friday, January 27, 2017

My pet peeves + how to deal with them.


If I were to list down all my pet peeves, this post would probably turn to a novel. Which is why I decided to list only my top 3. If you didn't already know, pet peeves are specific behaviors that bug or annoy particular people.

And yet in no order because they annoy me just the same:

1.) When people don't have elevator manners. I generalized this because I really mean ALL manners. Living in a condominium, I always experience these events. I find it frustrating when people enter the elevator without waiting for the person inside to step outside. I'd understand if they have urgent manners to attend to, but I doubt about 10 seconds will make a life or death kind of thing. Maybe, but most likely not. 

Also when people quickly dash inside and push through the crowd. I don't get it, why can't people line up properly. Even when there are no lines, the elevator wouldn't close that fast. 

I also dislike it when people have loud conversations inside the elevator. A ride doesn't last long, I think we can wait to make a full length conversation when we step outside. Or maybe when they lower down their tone, I would finally have my peace.

I find it funny though when people click the elevator button more than once, that won't make the elevator arrive sooner. 

2.) When people ask if they can have some of my food while taking it. What's the point of asking when it's already in your hands? It's not like I'd be selfish and not share but it would motivate me more to continue sharing when people ask first before taking. 

Not just with food actually, also with other objects and things.

3.) When I eat something healthy and people ask if I'm on a diet. I find this exhausting to answer every time. Just because I chose to order salad or anything alike doesn't mean I'm on a diet. These are food which you can eat whenever you want to just like pizza and fries. 



Having these pet peeves I found ways to deal and cope with them. I can't guarantee that they would work for you but they have for me, perhaps these would maybe help you a bit. 

1.) Acknowledge them. We have to accept that we are irritated in a particular something. Denying would only give you more stress. 

2.) Resist. Resist the urge to rant or vent. It will not solve the situation. Find a way to release it that would bring no harm. Calm yourself and confront the person (if possible) and tell that person how you feel about it.

3.) Understand. This one I may be skipping sometimes but it's one of the important things to remember. Sometimes, there are reasons as to why they have that behavior or why that situation happened. Seek to gain a better understanding of the rest of the story.


That's pretty much it. I hope these will somehow help you. What are your pet peeves?

with love,
yuki motokane.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Highlights of the week, vol. 2

window shopping for flowers!

1.) shrimp bucket located in bgc - taguig, philippines.
Shrimps, shrimps, and more shrimps with a side of chicken wings glazed with shrimp paste and fries a meal worth remembering.


2.) dogs in bonifacio global city, philippines.
They made my day soooo much. Dogs are probably my favorite animal because they have that look on them that is just so cute. It's funny how when they meet other dogs they smell each other's butts. So I searched about it recently and I gathered that sniffing is just a canine version of shaking hands and introducing yourself. They have pouches called anal sacs which secrete chemicals to get to know each other. How fascinating! 

3.) exams
ARE FINALLY FINISHED. Survived three straight days. I hope I can be as happy as I am now when I receive my report card, sigh.

4.) contact lenses
I'm nearsighted so I've been wearing glasses since I was 13 and I wanted to get contacts because my prom is nearing. So I bought one but trying it on my eyes was exhausting. I still can't get past the fear of poking my eyes. I know full well that I wouldn't really harm my eyes or feel any pain but when it's your first try, it's still sort of hard. It disappoints me to say that I haven't yet mastered the art of wearing them and taking them out, I'm still in the process of practicing because my eyelids are so stubborn.  

5.) alex & sierra
So I always ask myself why I discover great singers too late. Was watching a few videos of x factor (one of my favorite past times, talent shows are just so entertaining) and I heard their angelic voices. My top song preferences from them are:
  • Toxic by Britney Spears [ cover, they sang this on their audition last 2013 and SPOILER ALERT if you didn't already know, they won! ]  
  • Just Kids [ original, I love the acoustic version better though ]
  • Little Do You Know [ original ]

how was your week? I'd love to know too!

with love,
yuki motokane.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Highlights of the week, vol. 1

This is quite late, but I decided to make this year a much more joyous one by taking notes and remembering the highlights of the week. This will help me appreciate my days more and look forward for the following days of the rest of the 2017. How fast the years go by!

1.) new read, anna karenina by leo tolstoy
I got this as a gift last Christmas from a friend and I recently just started reading it. I'm very excited to finally dive in this story.

2.) exams are next week, the horror!
I know I should probably start studying, sigh. For now, I'll try to organize my study notes.

3.) dear lucas!




My aunt got a new puppy and he's so so adorable. I have a Labrador Retriever as well and her name is Shara <3

4.) jaymes young

One of my new favorite singers! I can't believe I just recently discovered him, I'm so thankful I did. He's an alternative/indie singer with an album titled Dark Star. Totally recommended!

5.) my mum's birthday
My mother celebrated her birthday last January 10. It made time seem so much faster. It's weird how I'm bigger and taller than my mom now and yet I'm still happy, our embrace is still very much the same. Happy birthday, mum!

How was your week?


with love,
yuki motokane.



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