Friday, November 17, 2017

My Younger Self Gave an Advice to My Present Self

Photo by Konstantin Dyadyun on Unsplash

There was a point in my life when I feared being happy, nervous of what may come my way. I like to think that I'm happy most of the time. Although there's always this thing in the back of my head that warns me that if I become too happy, the negative or sad events will come to me right after. The only light that keeps me going was it's opposite, on when you're sad or feeling very down, sooner or later the smiles and the new fresh air to breathe in will come. 

After a few months of this going on in my head, I came to realize that it was just natural. Obviously, you can't be happy forever nor be continuously sad. It was plain logicI think life is like numbers, odds and evens. They always go alternately.

Just awhile ago, I was scrolling through my social medias until I realized I haven't touched my Wattpad account for so long, it's been more than a year actually. After multiple guesses of what my password could be, I got in! The first thing I went through was my drafts, since I've unpublished all my works before I went on hiatus and while I was reading each of them, I was so surprised, I don't even remember writing them. Reading each chapter that I wrote was a suspense for me and the last I've written would be a cliff hanger.

There was this particular chapter I wrote in one short story that truly surprised me most of all, it was written in a text message style and it gave me the words I've needed to read all this time.

"People  say that when you laugh a lot, you'll cry later on."
Sent 10:18 pm.

I watched as the words Thale sent through a text message burned through the screen of my phone. I thought about what he meant, and I typed my reply carefully.
"What do you think?"
Sent 10:20 pm.

"It's Fate's game. When you're too happy, things will go downhill later on. It's like, the universe is mocking us or something. What do YOU think?"
Sent 10:25 pm.

"I believe it's what reminds us that we are human and we can't have perfect lives, but we can live a great one instead. Think of a concrete wall, without holes or cracks, no lights would come in. The holes may represent the problems we face, but because of these, they give us the opportunities to actually see and get to know ourselves better and maybe even get to meet new people."
Sent 10:39 pm.

"That's  a long message ;)"
Sent 10:40 pm.

"Haha. Who started the subject? ;)"
Sent 10:42 pm.

"But what if it's a big hole?"
Sent 12:47 am.

"Even better. It'll be more brighter."
Sent 1:13 am.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

5 Valuable Things I've Learned at 16

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

Today marks the day of my seventeenth year! I've honestly enjoyed being sixteen so much and yet it flew past by me without me knowing it. This year has made me go through a lot of experiences that let me gain so much new knowledge. Before I say farewell to sixteen, I decided to think back through everything and pinpoint out all the most memorable lessons God has given and blessed me with.

1. You're not too young or too old.
Of course there are situations when this isn't applicable but there are also times I feel like I'm too young or not well experienced to do something, to take those steps that I have a passion for. Like writing which I stopped doing because I fooled myself into believing that I stopped because I lost my interest in it, and yet the real reason is my lost motivation and my constant convincing to myself that I'll just do it in the future. Like creating a short film which I postponed for so long after watching a lot by others that made me doubt myself, thinking that I'm a broke student who couldn't afford any gear or software for me to create a great one. I learned to try and create first steps, it might not be immediately great, but it'll get there eventually.

2. Its okay to repeat clothes.
I used to think that my wardrobe was empty (sometimes I still do) and I came to realize that it's actually filled with mountains of clothes, I just wanted something new. I always craved for new shirts or pants even when I had a lot before me, and that's not healthy. It came to me that I don't have to wear the same outfit twice in a row, yet I can make the most of what I already have, try out different ways to style it and create an entirely new outfit.

3. Don't be afraid to be alone.
I stayed at home most of the time, sprawled on my bed, and my devices in my hands. I didn't go out unless I go out with friends, buy groceries with my mom, or walk my dog. If I want to go to the mall or anywhere else, I always drag my mom with me. It didn't come to my mind that I was like this until my mom pointed it out, asking why I couldn't go out to enjoy myself, by myself. As of this month, I've went out twice and I loooved it. Getting a sundae for myself or strolling around in the streets or taking a break in the park or just having time with myself. Alone time can be quite essential in our lives, not just one where we stay in our homes, but out our comfort zones. 

4. Say thank you.
I have quite a funny experience with this, because I've gotten so used to giving my thanks that in almost everything, I say thank you. Like when someone accidentally bumps at me, "thank you!" or when I hold open the elevator while other people are entering, "thanks!" People would look at me funny and I'd be trying so hard not to face palm myself at those times. Which leads me to tell you guys that mere thank yous aren't enough. I learned to  use it in a daily basis yet not in a way that I don't hear myself anymore, rather, still have my sincerity in those words.

5. Don't be lazy to walk your dog.
As much as I love my dog, walking her at night (since she takes short walks both morning and night) is something I'm always too lazy to do. What I didn't know was how I overlooked the importance of this to our dog, Shara, and how much it means to her. This situation can be related to other circumstances. Not doing something out of laziness because it doesn't benefit you in any way is not how the world works. You can never do anything alone, at some point, you'll also need the help of those around you. 

Monday, October 23, 2017

3 Must Reads for October | 2017

Photo by Yulia Chinato (unsplash)

It's the month of October and I believe reading Zombie Novels would be a great thing to do, it goes along quite well with the Halloween atmosphere. If you haven't already known, I'm a huge enthusiast for anything zombie. I've read a number already and I thought that I should definitely share my favorites with you guys before the month ends. 

1. World War Z by Max Brooks - Most of you have probably already heard of the movie but I must tell you that it has a completely different plot. Not only that, but most of the characters that appeared in the film aren't in the novel. The book doesn't follow one single narrative throughout, instead, it is a collection of interviews with different people who survived the zombie apocalypse. 

Goodreads: The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. "World War Z" is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years. 

Ranging from the now infamous village of New Dachang in the United Federation of China, where the epidemiological trail began with the twelve-year-old Patient Zero, to the unnamed northern forests where untold numbers sought a terrible and temporary refuge in the cold, to the United States of Southern Africa, where the Redeker Plan provided hope for humanity at an unspeakable price, to the west-of-the-Rockies redoubt where the North American tide finally started to turn, this invaluable chronicle reflects the full scope and duration of the Zombie War. 

Most of all, the book captures with haunting immediacy the human dimension of this epochal event. Facing the often raw and vivid nature of these personal accounts requires a degree of courage on the part of the reader, but the effort is invaluable because, as Mr. Brooks says in his introduction, "By excluding the human factor, aren't we risking the kind of personal detachment from history that may, heaven forbid, lead us one day to repeat it? And in the end, isn't the human factor the only true difference between us and the enemy we now refer to as 'the living dead'?" 

2. The Gathering Dead by Stephen Knight - Those who loves books with intense zombies and the military, you must definitely pick this up. Lots of military jargons, however, you'll come to understand it along the way. I like that it was fast paced and had tension throughout the novel. I don't really like 'smart' zombies because I really don't like the ones that run for some reason, but this one has great twist along it.

Goodreads: The Horde Is Always Hungry... 

The zombie apocalypse has begun, and Major Cordell McDaniels is given the most important mission of his career: lead a Special Forces team into New York City to rescue the one man who can stop the ghastly virus that reanimates the dead. 
But as a growing army of flesh-eating corpses takes over the streets and a violent storm renders airborne extraction impossible, McDaniels struggles to find a way out of the Big Apple. The odds of anyone getting out alive plummet further when slaughtered members of his own Special Forces team join the ranks of the gathering dead... with their military skills intact! 

3. Escaping the Dead by W.J. Lundy - This is my first ever zombie book and a great start as well. Unlike the books previously mentioned, the author uses simple words and less jargons which makes it an easy read. The second book gets better than the first which leads me to think that this is simply an introduction to the real story. I also heard that the writer created his notes and ideas while he was deployed to Afghanistan, and is still a serving Veteran in the US Army! 

Goodreads: The radio goes quiet while on convoy in Afghanistan, a lost patrol alone in the desert. 
With his unit and his home base destroyed, Staff Sergeant Brad Thompson suddenly finds himself isolated and in command of a small group of men trying to survive in the Afghan wasteland. The local population has been afflicted with an illness that turns them into rabid animals. They pursue him and his men at every corner and stop. 

Struggling to hold his team together and unite survivors, he must fight and evade his way to safety. 

I would also like to apologize for the three months of absence here in the blogging community. School and procrastination have taken a great deal of my time :( What have you read this October?

Friday, June 30, 2017

June favorites and other highlights. | vol. 5

This is supposedly a highlights of the day/week/month post but most of the points here are just current favorites, nothing really significant happened this month. Aside from school starting last June 5, and it is currently my fourth week in school and there is already so much to do that I do not really have time to do anything else. 

1. We moved a few days ago. Although, our new place is just a few streets away from our previous one. Right now, it is filled with boxes. According to my mom, we have approximately 86 boxes, luggages and containers. Unboxing them is a horror to come.

2. I have been YouTube hopping and found vloggers who I am loving so much. First, Hi I'm Mimi. I discovered her after seeing her cover of City of Stars (a soundtrack from La La Land) which was recommended to me by YouTube and I wasn't disappointed, I love it so much, along with her other original songs. To be honest, she is my aesthetic, her videos are really creative. 
Second, Amelia Gething. I discovered her after searching for compilations and I found her really hilarious. Her vlogs are awesome, she somehow has the ability to always make me laugh. (I have to mention that she is soooo pretty, she looks like Anne Hathaway to me.) 

3. I knew Seafret since way back then but I never really checked out all their songs, I usually just listen to a couple of my favorites. This I regret because after searching them in Spotify (I am not a premium subscriber so I can't skip or pick songs, a bummer,) the first song that played was Something in the Air and it lifted my spirits, I like it so much. Another song I am recently liking is Do Do Do by Dansu, I think I found this because it was an intro song to one of the vlogs I was watching. It has that catchy old-ish vibe. Until now, the song is playing in my head!

4. I actually got a fidget spinner. For 150 pesos (about $3) in the shade of pink. I honestly don't know what made me want to get one but I just felt like it. I heard it can help you stop fidgeting and maybe focus a bit? That it can relieve you of nervous energy and stress, correct me if I am wrong. I like spinning it, however, it isn't helping me focus at all. Rather, I get distracted and mesmerized by the spinning, haha. I am trying to learn some tricks (because why not :'>) and I shamefully boast that I can toss it to the other hand back and forth. Just that. Yet. 

5. Homeworks. Projects and requirements, a lot of them.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

I forgive you.

I believe the three words I forgive you are just as very beautiful like the words I love you.

I remember walking around the mall last April with my mom, we were looking for casual sandals. My mother was trying some on and I was scrolling through my phone when I received a message from a close friend of mine on Snapchat.

She told me of something bad she did to her friend and she was asking me what I thought about it and asked for advice on what to do. I didn't know what to say, honestly, I was new to this kind of problem (which I will not be able to share due to personal and privacy reasons.) The most surprising part was that, the person she did wrong to, wasn't aware of this at all. There was also another person involved. 

I suggested her to first reveal her mistake to her friend and apologize. At first she hesitated, worrying about what the reaction will be. And so, my friend questioned me if I didn't mind her practicing on me what she will say to her friend.

Of course, that is when I knew it was me.

I sort of laughed at the first few minutes because this was such a cliche thing to do. After a moment, it dawned to me. I confirmed from her if it was indeed me and I received that dreaded reply of "Yes."

I have known this friend for years now so we are really close. All I asked from her was to explain to the other person involved in this situation, and that was all I needed. Surprisingly, I wasn't mad, I didn't feel any anger towards her. So I said, "I forgive you."

Afterwards, I felt even more lighter than I already did.

That was when I learned how the sentence I forgive you is such a powerful one, it could do magic! I am not kidding. Forgiving is very essential in our lives. These thoughts of resentment and hatred will forever haunt us and be a burden when they occupy our minds. We could release them by forgiving, and with that, we will have more peace within us.

Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; It's something you do for you.

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