Monday, July 1, 2019

Writing Again

pen on white lined paper selective focus photography
                                                                                                                                                                   photo by Aaron Burden

I've been writing again lately, my journal is filled with the lines of my thoughts and stanzas of poetry that aren't usually there. Oftentimes, they would be uploaded online to my poetry accounts, but now they're between pages, with illegible handwriting and smudged ink, away from the eyes of individuals who don't know me. Readers who only know of my name don't scare me, what scares me are the people who know not only my name but also who I am. 

It's probably one of the reasons I don't write as much here anymore. I used to think I could express myself in words, since I've always been a reserved person and kept my thoughts to myself. Someone who hid herself behind letters and suppressed her emotions with punctuation marks. Now I realize there isn't much difference. Whether I speak or write, people will eventually know who I am. I still don't understand why I'm so afraid. 

While I'm in the process of understanding myself, I'd like to show appreciation to you, reader. It amazes me that there are actually people who are interested in what I have to say.

In other words, what I'm trying to say in this post is that,

I'll be back soon. 

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Kids Like Us by Hilary Reyl | Review



This novel asks us the questions about love and our identities.

It took me two days to finish this story and I really enjoyed the time I spent on this book. A coming of age story about a boy named Martin, a sixteen year old with autism. The book starts in second person which confused me at first. Eventually, I got used to it; this actually makes us more immersed in the story because it transposes us to his life. I do not have much knowledge about autism but this really got me thinking about it and how most of us actually see it.

Martin is an American teen on the autism spectrum living in France with his mom and sister for the summer. He falls for a French girl who he thinks is a real-life incarnation of a character in his favorite book. Over time Martin comes to realize she is a real person and not a character in a novel while at the same time learning that love is not out of his reach just because he is autistic.

It fascinates me how Martin associates the people he meets in France to the characters in his favorite book, In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. He attends a summer school where he meets a girl who he believes to be Gilberte (a character in his favorite novel) but soon learns isn't Gilberte, and falls in love with her anyway. I really love the line Martin says in one of the chapters,

At first, Mr. Swann loves Odette because she looks like this painting, but eventually Mr. Swann loves the painting because it is a painting of her.

I had to pause after reading that because yessss.

Things I love:

There’s soo much food which delights our senses as we read the ingredients that are used by Martin and Bernadette. Now where can I get myself some madeleines?
+ I rarely read much books set in France so this was really cool. What makes this even more interesting is how they speak in French (although the book is in English) and it explains the little details and differences the language has.
+ There are several discourses about neurodiversity which give readers a lot to ponder about.

Things I didn't quite like:

+ As much as I like Martin (and his sister Elisabeth and friend Layla,) I didn't really like the other characters, I felt like they were too shallow. I would have loved to get to know his love interest more because I wasn't really attached to her, as if she was just there and nothing more.
+ The ending. Don’t get me wrong, I was satisfied at what happened in the end. I just want mooore.

Let me add, this isn't just a love story, it's so much more than that.

Overall, it was a good read and I'd recommend it to anyone who wishes to better understand the autism spectrum, who are looking for a quick touching read, and to those who want to recall the feeling of awkward first love.


Rating: 4/5
Genre: fiction, young adult

Many thanks to Hilary Reyl, Text Publishing, and NetGalley for providing me a copy in exchange of an honest review.


What books are you currently reading?

Monday, July 2, 2018

Hello?

photo by Samuel Zeller

It's been forever but enough about me saying my apologies and typing overused excuses on why I haven't been on here for months, which I've already been telling in every post I write. Instead, how have you been? As for me, not much has happened in the three months I've been gone, except that school started again for me and... that's pretty much it. 

I guess that's the problem with me these days. I can't gather my thoughts together, I've been feeling empty due to the fact that I haven't been collecting? By that I mean, I just let the things that are happening to me pass by without actually noticing it and I stopped observing my surroundings like I used to. I never really am present in the present?

I'm not sure how to put these things into words and when I do get to, they all end in question marks.

However, I'll be back.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Dawn & Dusk, an April Playlist


Even if I try to narrow it down, I don't have a specific taste for music. A little of this tune maybe with a mix of that beat and that really pretty chord. This April however, my ears have been loving the chill beats of these songs I've listed down. I've separated them into two, dawn being more of the lively one since I enjoy music that wake me up in the morning while dusk having the soothing melody to calm me at night.

You may click on the title to be delivered to the youtube video or listen on the Spotify playlist I added at the end of this post :')

D A W N

1. Paris in the Rain by Lauv
anywhere with you feels right
anywhere with you feels like
paris in the rain

I have been singing this song for weeks and I can't get enough of it.

2. Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes
all it'd take is one flight
we'd be in the same time zone

Was so excited and impatient to be able to hear this song and it doesn't disappoint.

3. Day 1 by HONNE
you'll always be my day 1
day zero when i was no one

A tune that will tempt you to randomly dance in the streets.

4. Lover Boy by Phum Viphurit
wondering if she's the shade of you
and if so, should i see it through 

I love his voice! Replay replay replay.


D U S K

1. Break My Heart Again by Finneas
it must be nice
to love someone who
lets you break them twice

Quite a sad song but a really beautiful one.

2. The Simple Things by Michael Carreon
and it's the simple things you do
i just can't get enough of you

Honestly the sweetest song ever. I cannot express how much I love it.

3. Sweet Hurricane by Phum Viphurit
when you're belong
it's with you, i belong

I'm so glad I found this song, another of my favorites.

4. Girl Like You by Toro y Moi
using up all the lifelines
tryna turn out decent

Recently found this through the blog Ghosts on Mars and have been really liking it.





what songs have you been listening to this April?

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Hello, I'm Back


The first three months of the year passed by me pretty quickly. I lost the energy to write and was drowned by thoughts of wanting to do so but never really grabbed any pen or paper. I told myself I'll make just the month of January as a rest from my blog but until now, I still don't have any motivation to type anything.

Today was unplanned, I was lying on my bed and scrolling through my social medias until it dawned to me that if I didn't do anything and allowed my laziness to control me, I wouldn't get anywhere. I would be stuck in my room telling myself lies such as "I'm just resting right now, I'll definitely do it later" and "Everyone does things on their own pace, it's no biggie."

But no. It isn't like that. If you wait for the day you'll be motivated, that would either be a really long wait or it would never come at all because honestly, it doesn't happen by itself.

The best time to start is right now.


The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – Chinese Proverb
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